


The Hobbit (with a twist)

by MartinandtheTardis



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Bilbo is adorable, Completely innocent though, Cute Bilbo Baggins, Embarrassed Bilbo Baggins, Embarrassment, Kind of a little/Daddy thing going on with Bilbo and the Durins, Thorin is a Softie, nappies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-25
Updated: 2016-07-21
Packaged: 2018-07-24 19:45:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7520746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MartinandtheTardis/pseuds/MartinandtheTardis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>So, for this, I'm going to try and update it at least once every two weeks. Don't hold me up on that, though, because I might not be able to sometimes. And as for how long this will be, I am going to make sure that I get to Erebor. I don't know how many people, if any, will like it, but I'm still going to post this, because it's my story, I do what I want, screw other people's opinions (But if you have something nice to say or something that might improve my writing, I'm glad to hear it. Though if you must say rude things, I won't take it personally. We all have some rage.). Anyway, I hope you enjoy this!</p>
    </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, for this, I'm going to try and update it at least once every two weeks. Don't hold me up on that, though, because I might not be able to sometimes. And as for how long this will be, I am going to make sure that I get to Erebor. I don't know how many people, if any, will like it, but I'm still going to post this, because it's my story, I do what I want, screw other people's opinions (But if you have something nice to say or something that might improve my writing, I'm glad to hear it. Though if you must say rude things, I won't take it personally. We all have some rage.). Anyway, I hope you enjoy this!

Bilbo Baggins knew he would face many dangers if he went with the dwarfs. Life threatening experiences. Some from enemies, some from Nature herself. He had dangled on the side of a mountain after very nearly being crushed by a Rock Giant's knee during a thunder battle, but he hadn't cared one bit. Up until now.

Right now, Bilbo was face to face with Gollum, a nasty little creature that ate the raw flesh of anything it could kill. The creature made a dreadful sound in its throat, and that is what Bilbo had dubbed him as. The disgusting sound was now the creature's name.

The two played a game of riddles as a competition. If Gollum lost, he would have to show Bilbo the way out. If Bilbo lost... Well, he would never see the light of the blessed sun again.

Bilbo was scared out of his wits, so much so that he could only think of simple riddles from his days as a wee Hobbit. Thankfully, the childish riddles stumped the creature of the underground lake, but now, their game of life-and-death was coming to a close, and it was Bilbo's turn.

"Ask a question!" the creature hissed.

A question. A question, Bilbo thought. Well, if Gollum wanted it was a question Bilbo was glad to give him, no riddle.

Bilbo thought, his hand unconsciously going to his pocket, giving him an idea as to what he should ask the creature.

Hesitantly, he asked, "What have I got in my pocket?"

Gollum frowned. "That... That isn't fair! That's aginst the rules!" He threw a rock to the ground, smashing it. "No, ask us another one!"

Bilbo refused, shaking his head and pointing his sword (letter-opener, really) at the creature. "No, you asked for a question, and that, that is my question. What have I got in my pocket?"

The creature threw a fit, but guessed after they agreed to three guesses. "Handses!" Bilbo took his hand out quickly.

"Nope," he said with a grin.

"Knife!"

"Wrong again. Last guess!"

Gollum dug around in his pockets mumbling things like bat wings and fish scales, then jabbed a finger at Bilbo. "String!" He spun around, probably reverting to his other self. "Or nothing!"

"Wrong both times!" Bilbo grinned as the creature fell on his side and started crying from the defeat. Bilbo's fear was starting to dissipate. "You promised, come on, show me the way out of here!"

The creature's sobs stopped, and he stood back up to his crouching position. "Did we say so, precious?" It turned around, giving Bilbo a nasty glare. "What has it got in its pocketses?"

Bilbo raised his trembling sword as his fear returned, hard. "That is of no concern of yours. Show me the way out."

"And if we don't? What if we keep Bagginses for our own?"

Bilbo backed away a little, feeling a sensation he was never fond of feeling. "Then I will run and find the way out myself."

Gollum let out a screech as he leaped at Bilbo. Bilbo yelped and ran away, toward one of the tunnels he was able to see. He ran through it, looking behind him most of the time. The creature was apparently close behind. It crawled along, knowing it was blocking Bilbo when he would reach the large crack. The creature was more than confident that Bilbo could not fit through the gap with his belly how it was.

Bilbo whimpered and tried squeezing himself through the crack. Oh, if only he didn't have so many meals a day when he had been in the Shire, he would have easily slipped through without the hindrance of his waistcoat buttons! He grunted and groaned and whimpered, trying desperately to get through.

Bilbo caught sight of Gollum approaching him, grinning a nasty, nine toothed grin.

"Bagginses is ours," it hissed.

Bilbo felt his eyes well up from his fear, and he felt that dreaded sensation again. His bladder was starting to hurt from the pressure, and he knew it would release if there was any more fright added to his ever growing terror. The creature jumped at Bilbo just as his buttons popped off, allowing him to slip through, though he hadn't expected it, so he gasped as he lost his footing and fell. The rock his head hit made him see stars for a moment, but he shook his head, clearing it, and stood up.

Gollum was reaching for him, snarling like an animal in a cage and trying to slip though. The creature had to stop as it hacked and coughed, making that horrid sound again, and it glared daggers at the halfling.

Bilbo scrambled up, hoping that even though the creature was skinnier than him, his large head would prevent him from getting though. Bilbo sheathed his sword and ran as fast as his furry feet could carry him. As he ran, Bilbo caught sight of a small something he was running toward. Alight! Oh, thank the stars, a light up ahead! Bilbo's feet seemed to take flight as he sprinted for it. He figured it was probablythe fear and the desperation to be out in the sun that helped him go that extra two hundred meters.

When Bilbo burst into the sunlight, oh, the beloved sunlight! he heard The Company. They were not far ahead, thank the stars! He ran after them, trying to go as fast as they were going, but they slowly and steadily pulled further and further away.

Bilbo gasped for breath and felt a tear slide down his cheek. He knew he shouldn't have been crying, but he couldn't help himself. They seemed to have forgotten that he was supposed to be with them! Either that, or they thought he was dead. He had to catch up to them! If he was lost here, he would be forced to either go back to the Goblins, look for another way around the mountain back to Rivendell, which would most likely mean death by Stone Giants or a fall, or he could wander with almost nothing but a sword and his filthy and thinning clothes.

The dwarfs suddenly stopped, though Bilbo didn't know that; they were in a forest and were blocked by bushes and trees, just a hundred yards away from the panicking Hobbit. He couldn't see them anymore, and his chest was heaving partly from fear, partly from the run he just had. He bent over and coughed, trying to get his breath back, and seeing something he wasn't sure was actually there, he blinked. Then he blinked again. And again.

_No... No, no no no no no no... Please, no..._

His trousers were soaked. He noticed now that his bladder felt empty, and absolute dread filled him. This was far from good. He didn't have his pack, so he couldn't find the spare pair of trousers he had brought. His eyes welled up again as he looked at his urine-soaked trousers. He couldn't go to the dwarfs like this, he would be completely humiliated if they saw he had wet himself!

A choked sob bubbled out of Bilbo's throat. He knew he wouldn't be able to stop the tears now, so he just curled up on the ground and let it out. His fear of the dwarfs leaving and his embarrassment fueled his sobbing.

Bilbo sobbed and sniffled and whimpered and wailed, attracting the attention of the dwarfs. Many of them, including Thorin, felt tears sting their eyes; it did not have the sound of an adult, but of a helpless child who was lost and couldn't find his parents.

"Split up into groups! Find whoever or whatever is making that sound!" Thorin told The Company. They hurriedly split; the Ri brothers made one group, the Ur cousins another, Gloin and Oin grouped, and Kili and Fili paired up, leaving Balin, Dwalin, and Thorin in a group.

The groups went off to find the source of the sound, all going in different directions. They listened for the snuffling, but it had oddly topped. Just as the dwarfs thought they would not here what it was that had made the sound, a  hiccuping wail loud enough to rival a warrior's battle cry sounded.

Thorin, Dwalin and Balin scurried toward the sound and found Bilbo curled up on the ground, bawling his little Hobbit head off.


	2. Chapter 2

"Bilbo!" the three exclaimed at the same time. The sudden noise startled Bilbo, making him jump and curl up tighter. His sobbing was, unfortunately, making him hiccup, which only spurred on his distress.

The three dwarfs knelt on the ground next to Bilbo and gently pulled him up to a sitting position.

"Bilbo, what's wrong?" Balin asked softly. Dwalin pulled the halfling closer and into a warm hug, knowing but not caring that he would probably be teased about it later.

"I... I... I..." Bilbo looked like he was about to start wailing again.

Thorin shook his head. "Bilbo, do not cry," he rumbled, annoyed.

Bilbo's lip wobbled and he sniffled and started crying again, albeit a bit softer than before, because he was still frightened of the king. Dwalin stood, still holding Bilbo, and started bouncing him a little, as he would a young dwarfling.

Bilbo was vaguely aware that he was being held, much less bounced like a child. He tried to squirm away so he could go cry on his own, but Dwalin had a tight (but still gentle) grip on him and wouldn't let him go.

As Bilbo squirmed, Balin caught sight of wet clothing. "Bilbo," he said, "calm down, laddie. Calm down, and we'll help you with whatever's wrong."

Bilbo whimpered and hiccuped, but he managed to stop his crying, much to the three dwarfs' relief.

The other groups of The Company were approaching, so Thorin turned to them before they could get too close. "Get back to where we were! Don't come over here unless one of us calls for you."

The dwarfs nodded and went back to the mall clearing they had been at, a couple hundred meters away. Dwalin stopped bouncing the hobbit and just cradled him now, letting his trousers be seen better.

Bilbo shivered when the now cool wet patch was more exposed to the wind, and he glanced at his trousers and started to cry again.

Thorin, Bailn and Dwalin now had full view of his trousers, and they looked at him sadly. The halfling should not have come, they knew. He was not cut out for some of the terrors they had face and would face.

Dwalin sat on a large log and ran his giant hand through Bilbo's honey curls. Bilbo calmed a bit more and gave up trying to get away, instead just leaning into Dwalin. The dwarf's chest was warm and comforting, and right now, Bilbo could use all the comfort he could get.

Balin sighed sadly as he listened to Bilbo get the hitched breath of an infant after a hard cry. Not something an adult should be doing. But, he reminded himself, Bilbo was very young, if he remembered correctly. Only 50, Bilbo told him once. Balin shook his head.

"Laddie..."

Bilbo looked at Balin with tears streaming down his face. He knew exactly what was coming. Balin would say that Bilbo had no place among them, and that he would only stay until they found a place to dump him. They couldn't have someone like Bilbo with them, and Bilbo would absolutely admit it: he was an overgrown crybaby who couldn't control his bladder. Granted, the last time he had cried was when his parents had died, but he was still a crybaby hobbit.

Bilbo braced himself against Dwalin's chest, waiting for the words he knew would break his heart. He didn't want to leave, he wanted to stay. He loved these dwarfs; they had been kinder to him in the short time they had been together than the whole of the Shire (excluding most family members) had been to him his whole life. They were his family, and he didn't want to and couldn't leave them.

"Laddie, you're going to have to give me your trousers so I can clean them... You don't want the others to see, and nobody wants you to get a rash."

Bilbo blinked and looked at the old dwarf. Wait. No...? No scolding? No reluctant words? He remembered his family- aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, even his nieces and nephews- would give him spankings when he would accidentally wet himself, since he should have been out of nappies. He wasn't out of them until he was fifteen, and even after, he still needed them, but his parents had not let him. They always told him he would need to learn to hold it, though they were careful to only scold him when he failed to, not spank.

He curled up in Dwalin's lap, instantly reverting back to his little five year old self, though quite a bit more timid. "No...?"

Balin raised a bushy eyebrow. "No, what?"

Bilbo's lip trembled. "No... No 'panking?"

Balin shook his head, chuckling lightly. "No, Bilbo, nobody is going to spank you. It was just an accident."

Thorin sighed. "Balin, we cannot stay here long. We have to get moving."

Balin turned to the dwarf king. "Be patient, Thorin, I am trying to deal with a serious matter."

Thorin pursed his lips, but stayed quiet. Bilbo sniffled and got up, shivering as he was once again exposed to the wind.

"Do you need us to get you a different pair of trousers and turn around, Bilbo?" Balin asked.

The halfling considered Balin's words for a second, then nodded. "Need trousers, p'ease," he whimpered.

Balin nodded and looked to his brother, who stood and turned to go to The Company to ask for an extra pair of trousers. Bilbo shook his head quickly.

"N-No! D-D-D..." He teared up for what felt like the fuckteenth time that day. He didn't care how much like a baby he seemed now, he just wanted the warmth and comfort of the giant warrior.

Dwalin turned back and saw the halfling reaching for him with one hand, trying to pull his shirt down to cover his wet trousers with the other, eyes welled up with tears, and the dwarf just  _melted_. The Hobbit was too cute like that, and he came right back and hugged the poor thing. Bilbo sniffled and buried himself in the warrior's arms, not giving a rip what anyone thought about him now.

Balin said something softly to Thorin, who nodded and headed for The Company. To his slight disappointment, there was no argument to his leaving from the halfling. He approached The Company and cleared his throat, getting every dwarf's attention. All thoughts turned to Bilbo.

"Does anyone have an extra pair of trousers? Bilbo is in dire need of them."

No-one spoke up. Thorin hadn't expected anyone to, but it still annoyed him. He nodded, glancing at the ground before returning to the brothers and hobbit.

Bilbo was now falling asleep in Dwalin's arms, though they were both still standing. His poor little face was still red from the crying, and his cheeks and eyes were puffy, but thankfully his breathing was calm again. Thorin silently swore at himself, for what, he did not know, but he felt that this was his fault.

Bilbo nuzzled Dwalin's chest, trying to get close enough to hear the dwarf's heartbeat. He knew it was a childish thing to do, but he realized he didn't care. He was the youngest of the group, and whether or not he was a hobbit or a dwarf, they would most likely treat him like a small child. He knew these three definitely would, and he didn't know if he would want that. Sure, Dwalin was an exemplary cuddler and comforter, and Balin was perfect for advice, and he was like a grandfather, and Thorin was an absolutely wonderful uncle to Kili and Fili, but still! Bilbo tried to think of a reason not to want the extra attention, but he could not. Maybe it was his tired brain, but he knew it was just him.

_Baggins, you are a selfish little brat..._

Thorin tapped the small hobbit on the shoulder, snapping him out of his reverie. "Bilbo, we still need to get those trousers washed."

Bilbo paused and took a minute to remember and register what Thorin had said.  _Trousers... Oh._ He looked down at his trousers, once again, and he teared up,  _once again._

Dwalin shushed him and wiped his tears with a surprisingly gentle touch. "Can you give Balin your trousers, lad? Can you do that for us?"

Bilbo nodded, putting on a little pout; hunching his shoulders, sticking his bottom lip out slightly, giving them all the sad puppy eyes he was so good at. Dwalin ran a hand through Bilbo's hair again, hoping to soothe Bilbo into doing it and getting the worst part over with.

Bilbo looked up at Dwalin and nodded. Yes, he could do that, but what about him ending up half naked?

The halfling looked down at his trousers, then slipped them and his pants off. He hoped there would be a blanket he could be warm in. He picked up his trousers and pants and handed them to Balin, tugging his shirt down over himself again.

Dwalin dug in his pockets and managed to find a cloth to was Bilbo off. The hobbit was adorable, but it would take a lot more than that for the warrior to wrap his coat around the still slightly wet halfling.

Balin told Thorin to go back to The Company, that he and Dwalin would be back with Bilbo soon. Thorin nodded and did as he was told. He went back to The Company and went to Oin.

Balin led the way, and Dwalin wrapped a protective arm around Bilbo's shoulders, but he didn't pick him up. He would as soon as the little one was clean and clothed.

The older of the brothers somehow located a small river, and the three went to it to clean Bilbo and his clothes. Dwalin helped Bilbo out of his shirt and into the water, sitting him in a shallow part of the river. If he was going to be cleaned, it might as well be his whole self.

Balin went to work on Bilbo's trousers and pants downstream as Dwalin went about washing Bilbo a little further upstream. They knew it wouldn't be a proper bath since they had no soap, but it would have to do.

Bilbo sat in the water, letting Dwalin lift his arms, one at a time, to rinse them. He let his free hand reach down and splash a little in the water until he stopped and gasped, sitting straight up. Dwalin had, unknowingly, touched a very ticklish part of him: his right underarm. He hoped Dwalin would just continue on as if nothing had happened, but he had no such luck.

Dwalin stopped and looked at Bilbo, who had twitched and gasped. "Did I hurt you, Bilbo?" He wasn't a very gentle dwarf, but he tried his damned hardest around little ones to be as careful as he could.

Bilbo shook his head and went back to flicking the water. He wondered what else the dwarf would do, if he would, after the river bath, bundle him up and cradle him. He certainly hoped so.

Dwalin took the cloth and wiped Bilbo's underarm again, making sure to only touch lightly. He was startled when the halfling giggled and tried jerking away. Oh, so  _that's_ what he had done. Dwalin smirked and set the cloth on his forearm.

"Ticklish, lad?" He lightly brushed his calloused fingers against the sensitive skin.

Bilbo giggled and shook his head. "Nooo!" Dwalin ssmiled and tickled him more, very much enjoying this. Bilbo giggled again, louder this time.

When Dwalin had Bilbo laughing and halfheartedly trying to squirm away, he chuckled and picked up the cloth again, dipping it in the water and cleaning the rest of Bilbo. Bilbo smiled and looked back at the water, now wishing for more attention like that. That had actually been kind of fun. A good change from the circumstances.

After he finished, Dwalin picked Bilbo up and set him on the dry ground. The halfling shivered and hugged himself.

"Cold..."

Dwalin, being the kind of dwarf he was, wore multiple layers of clothes, so he took the outer layer off, then the next one, exposing a thick undershirt. He took that off and put his outer layers back on.

Bilbo watched the dwarf, still shivering. He watched as Dwalin hung his shirt on the low branch of a tree. Was he expecting Bilbo to just stand there, shivering his bottom off? Bilbo took a small step toward Dwalin.

"Dw-"

"Just a second, Bilbo," he said softly. He grabbed Bilbo's shirt, which was still dry, and used that to dry the hobbit, since it didn't cover him completely and he didn't think his trousers would be dry enough to put on until tomorrow. He gave the shirt to Bilbo to dry his private area, then went back to drying the rest of him. Bilbo was too cute and small a creature to be doing this by himself, and that is part of the reason why he and Balin had taken care of the little problem.

"Alright, Bilbo, arms up, please."

Bilbo put his arms up, about to ask Dwalin what he was doing when the heavy shirt was slipped over his head and his arms were helped through the sleeves. The bottom of the shirt hung down to his knees, making it look like he was wearing a nightgown.

Dwalin stepped back and smiled. "How's that, lad?"

The smile he received was enough to put him into a diabetic coma, it was so sweet.

Bilbo knew how childish he was being, and right now, with the attention he was getting, he absolutely loved it. This was going to be fun, he knew it. Dwalin was being so much nicer to him, and it was a good thing, too, since the dwarf had scared the hell out of him before. Bilbo was honestly surprised he had never wet himself when talking to Dwalin.

Dwalin picked the halfling up, snapping him from his daydreaming, and cradled him, just as Bilbo had hoped. The hobbit snuggled into the warrior's chest and sighed happily. Dwalin looked at his brother, who was now wringing out the pants and trousers. His strong hands were able to twist the material so nearly every drop of water squeezed out. If he didn't do so, they would have to hang the clothes and wait for them to dry, which would not be pleasant if orcs or wargs picked up their sccent and followed it.

Balin snapped the trousers, making a whip-like sound, then held them out to Bilbo.

"Alright, laddie, let's get your trousers back on."

Bilbo shook his head and grabbed Dwalin's coat. "No, please..." He didn't want his trousers back on, not yet. He wanted to stay under the giant shirt.

Balin nodded and draped Bilbo's clothes over his forearm. "Then let us get back to The Company."

Dwalin followed his brother, carrying Bilbo, back to the group. Bilbo wondered if they had missed him, or if they would just be annoyed that he had been found. He got his answer when they saw him.

 __" _BILBO_!" The dwarfs all crowded around him and Dwalin, bombarding the poor halflling with questions of his recent whereabouts.


	3. Chapter 3

"Bilbo, where were you?!"

"What happened to you?!"

"You must have been terrified!"

Bilbo looked at each of the dwarfs, and Dwalin held his hand up to silence them. The Company went quiet, and Bilbo caught a glimpse of Oin in the far back, holding something behind his back. Bilbo wondered what it was and if Oin would show it to him. He then realized that was childish to think, but suddenly, he didn't care how childish he seemed; he was the youngest of the group by several decades, and he could throw a bloody tantrum and the dwarfs would write it off as acting his age!

Suddenly he was aware of Dwalin gently shaking his shoulder. "Bilbo? They asked you a question."

Bilbo blinked, coming back to the present. "What was the question?" he asked quietly.

Kili repeated. "I asked what happened to you and why you are wearing Dwalin's shirt."

Bilbo expected the first part of the question, but the second half threw him off. "I fell when we were being hearded by the goblins... And I found this creature down where I fell... We played riddles... And then I ran away..."

The dwarfs all murmured to themselves for a few moments, the turned back to him. "And why are you wearing Dwalin's shirt?" Bofur asked.

"Um..." Bilbo looked up at Dwalin, wondering what to say. "Lost my clothes..." He caught sight of Balin hiding his dry and relatively clean clothes and silently thanked the old dwarf.

The others scanned the three, the nodded. Their burglar was safe again, and that's all they wanted, so they went about their own business, talking among one another. Well, most of them. Oin approached them, still hiding whatever it was in his hands until he was a couple feet away and able to hide it from view of The Company, Bilbo craned his neck to see it as Oin showed it.

Bilbo's heart sunk as he looked from it to Oin to Thorin to Balin and Dwalin. "A nappy?" he whispered, sounding as miserable as he felt. Thorin nodded and repeated it just a little louder to Oin, who nodded when he knew what Bilbo had said.

"Aye, a nappy. Thorin told me you need it." Bilbo looked at Thorin, shrinking into Dwalin and tearing up.

"You told?" he whimpered. He thought he could trust Thorin. Obviously, he had been wrong.

Thorin nodded. "I won't let you be embarrassed if you do this again. It's only the four of us who know, and none of us will tell anyone else. We promise."

Bilbo sniffled and wiped his eye. "But... "But you  _told_ on me..." His hand went to protect his bottom.

Thorin made his voice as soft as he could so Bilbo would be inclined to listen better. "I only said something to help you. I don't want you to be embarrassed if this happens in the future. Do you at least somewhat understand?"

Bilbo nodded, but he still didn't  _like_ it. He reluctantly held out his hand for the nappy, and Oin handed it over. Bilbo sniffed it, smelling something he guessed would prevent a nappy rash if they couldn't stop.

"Do I hafta?" He looked at the four with sad, puppy-like eyes. They all nodded. Bilbo bit his lip. Thorin had done it to help, and Oin wouldn't tell anyone; he was used to patients with troubles they wished to keep a secret. He slowly pulled away from Dwalin to go put it on in privacy. The dwarfs did not follow him, thankfully. He went behind a large tree and slowly pulled the dreaded thing on.

When Bilbo came back out, he realized in horrible embarrassment that the nappy was thick enough to make him waddle. He stopped dead in his tracks and looked at the four dwarfs miserably.

"Come on..."

The look the four had was that of the most amused dwarfs in Middle Earth. Bilbo stuck his bottom lip out and planted his feet to the ground, feeling like the most pathetic hobbit alive.

"Oh, come now, lad," Dwalin chuckled. "Come here." He held his arms out to the halfling.

"No, come  _here_ , Bilbo."

Bilbo looked and saw that Thorin was holding his arms out as well in the same way Dwalin was. He walked- no,  _waddled_ \- to stand before the two dwarfs. They were both smiling brightly, though Thorin's smile was softer and warmer. Probably because he had nephews and experience with children.

Bilbo looked between the two, holding a finger on his bottom lip as he tried to choose. "Um..."

"Come on, Bilbo, come here," Thorin said softly.

Dwalin glowered at him, then softened again as he looked at Bilbo. The hobbit blinked.  _They both want me? Are they gonna fight over me?_

Bilbo stood where he was, looking at them, confused. Who should he choose? Thorin seemed to want something to do with him now... Dwalin had been paying attention to him for the past hour... Ah! It was extremely frustrating. Both of the dwarfs still scared him, partly because of their size, another part because they were warriors, and they were rough and tough. Thorin, though... THorin would probably be more gentle and caring, if his past and nephews were anything to go by.

Bilbo waddled over to Thorin, earning the king a glare from Dwalin. Thorin's smile was bright enough to rival dragon fire as he wrapped Bilbo up in a hug. Bilbo pulled Dwalin's shirt closer around himself and shivered a little. He looked up at Thorin.

"Cold," he whimpered. Thorin nodded and opened his coat so Bilbo could burrow into it.

And burrow Bilbo did. He buried himself in the warmth as Thorin hoisted him up, paying no mind to the slightly gross smell. It was warm, and he felt safe. Thorin smiled softly and closed his coat around Bilbo, so now only the hobbit's hair was visible. Only when he was sure Bilbo was comfortable did he join The Company again.

Bilbo was thinking about how warm and how happy he now was when he shifted under Thorin's coat and was reminded of the bulk surrounding his groin and thighs. He huffed quietly and wriggled, making Thorin tighten his arms so the halfling wouldn't slip out. Immediately, Bilbo grabbed Thorin's shirt tightly, unwilling to let go for anything.

When he was settled again, he heard the muffled voices of the dwarfs outside the coat. He quieted to listen, and he felt his little heart freeze when he realized what they were talking about.

Dwalin was, quiet surprisingly to Bilbo, speaking: "He cannot stay with us, Thorin. He's going to get killed or get one of us killed. I say just leave him here. He has a sword and clothes, he would be able to fend for himself and stay alive till he found a town or something."

"Are you mad?" Thorin rumbled furiously. "First off: He can hear you. Second: I will not leave him. He is just a child, and I plan to keep him safe as long as I draw breath. And three: Bilbo has done nothing wrong, quite the contrary, he saved us from the trolls with his quick wit, and he is the sweetest person here, not even Ori could beat him in his kindness!"

The dwarfs expleded into argument as to what to do with Bilbo. They argued whether to leave him here, or keep him till the next town and just abandon him with a note, or to just keep him, or if they should kill him so they wouldn't have to deal with him. Bilbo's heart raced in fear of what they might decide to do. The dwarfs had been his family! They would never just leave him!

Would they?

As Bilbo was left to his own thoughts, Thorin yelled for silence. The Company went quiet.

Clearly we are not thinking straight. We have had not much food, nor water. We need to hydrate and eat before we decide anything," he said. The dwarfs grumbled, but agreed.

"And where do you suppose we'll get this water and food, hmm?" Dwalin raised an eyebrow and crossed his heavily muscled arms.

"There must have been a river or a stream you and Balin found," Thorin said, hoisting the hobbit again.

"Aye, there was. But what of the food?" Balin asked.

"We'll just have to follow the river until we find a town or village or something."

The dwarfs continued their grumbling, but once again agreed, and they all went to the river and drank. Thorin started opening his coat so Bilbo would have a chance to drink.

Bilbo felt Thorin's coat start to open. Had he decided they would kill him or dump him somewhere by himself?! Bilbo didn't know; he hadn't been listening past the list of choices of what to do with him. Thorin put his big hands under Bilbo's armpits to lift him out, and Bilbo let out a whimper and tightened his hold on Thorin.

The dwarfs all stared at the hobbit. He had just whimpered. Was he scared still? Or again? Was he hurt?

Thorin tried and succeeded in prying Bilbo's hands from him. He held a very squirmy and teary Bilbo Baggins at arms' length, letting The Company see him.

Bilbo squirmed and reached for Thorin, kicking his legs a little (as if that would help) and tearing up. When he heard that everyone was quiet, he looked around, confused by the silence. The Company was looking at something a bit lower that Bilbo's back. Bilbo followed their gaze.

The  _nappy_! Oh, Yavanna, he had forgotten he was wearing it, and his kicking and squirming had hiked Dwalin's shirt up far enough so it was fully visible.

Thorin set Bilbo on the ground, keeping a hold on him. That ended up being a good idea, because the hobbit decided he would pull his legs up in refusal of being put down. He looked up at Thorin with his sad puppy eyed look.

"No down," he said in a soft whimpered voice.

Thorin blinked. That was about as close as one could get to sounding like a child.

"No down," Bilbo repeated.

"Yes down," the dwarf said. He kept his voice gentle and he lowered Bilbo again. Bilbo did the same thing again, lifting his legs so he couldn't be put down unless he was dropped, but Thorin was not having any of that. He just sat Bilbo right there on the ground. Bilbo grabbed the king's arms.

"Bilbo, let go." The halfling stubbornly refused, shaking his head and pouting. He didn't care if he wasn't normally like this, he just wanted some bloody comfort!

"Bilbo, come on, you have to let go of me." Thorin tried to pry Bilbo's fingers from his coat sleeves. "Bilbo, if you don't let go right now, I won't hold you ever again."

Bilbo squeaked. "Nooo...!" He let go of Thorin's sleeves and clamped his arms down to his sides.

By this time, Gandalf was just joining them again from looking for a path. He had seen Thorin attempt, then succeed in putting Bilbo down, and he looked at the hobbit, quite surprised.

"Bilbo Baggins, have you no dignity?" the wizard asked.

"Not anymore," was the quiet answer.

"And why is that?"

Bilbo lifted the giant shirt to reveal the nappy again. Gandalf blinked and stared. Then he roared: "WHO PUT HIM IN THAT?!"

The Company all pointed at the halfling.

"I did... Oin gave it to me... So I wouldn't have another accident..."

"Another?" Gandalf echoed. Bilbo nodded, wiping his eyes. "Ah. Well, if no-one forced you, I guess there is no problem. I found a path down that way." The wizard pointed northeast and set off in that direction, expecting the dwarfs to follow. And they did exactly that, with Thorin carrying Bilbo and walking beside Gandalf.

By the time they got to the path, the sun was setting. Nobody had bothered to figure what the time was, but if they had to guess, it had taken Gandalf at least two hours to find it, maybe one to get back, then one more to get everyone to it.

The Company was exhausted, and many of them were annoyed that even though he hadn't been walking for the past few hours, the hobbit was tired and half asleep. In his defense, though, it had been a very eventful day for such a small creature used to living in peace: falling down into Goblin Town, falling even deeper and playing a riddle game of life and death with a disgusting and slimy creature, and also wetting himself and being completely embarrassed of needing the nappy.

Thorin trudged along beside the wizard in the front of The Company, carrying the dozing hobbit. He and Gandalf discussed what had happened while the wizard was gone looking for a path.

"When Balin, Dwalin and I found him, he was wailing like a newborn, curled up in the fetal position," Thorin said.

"I'm sure that was a sight to see," grumbled the wizard. He had seen plenty of toddlers of all four races throw tantrums and bawl as if their lives depended on it, but hearing of an adult was less common. Sure, he had heard of adults and teenagers pitch fits, but hearing of an adult hobbit, an adult  _Baggins_ cry and wail was just... Well, it was unheard of.  _And_ a Took! A Baggins's and a Took's offspring had the smallest chance of being in any way infantile after they came of age, and most stopped years before that.

"Aye, he looked like the most helpless thing on the earth."

"Put Bilbo down, Thorin," Gandalf said.

"What?"

"I said put the hobbit down. He's going to walk now."

Mostly from surprise, Thorin stopped The Company and set the now sleeping hobbit on the ground.

Bilbo was barely aware of being set down, as he was asleep, but as soon as his nappied bottom was plopped on the ground, his eyes opened and he yawned and stretched.

"Bilbo Baggins, get up. We are walking and so are you," Gandalf said.

Bilbo recognized the voice as that of the old wizard's, and he looked up and at him with large, tired eyes. "Huh?"

"Get up and walk with us." He motioned to Thorin and The Company, and they started walking again, leaving a shocked little hobbit on the ground rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

As soon as he had processed exactly what Gandalf had said and what it meant, he squeaked and leaped up, and he ran (with a bit of difficulty, thanks to the nappy) to the dwarf king.

"No no no no no no no!" He jumped in front of Thorin and reached his hands up to Thorin. His brow furrowed and he clenched and unclenched his hands toward the dwarf. "Up!"

Thorin looked down at Bilbo, slightly annoyed but mostly surprised. Very unusual day today... He analyzed the halfling. He decided that he didn't care how cute Bilbo was, he just wanted to continue the journey. "Bilbo, behave yourself and come on." He walked around the hobbit and continued on.

Bilbo looked after Thorin with wide and confused eyes. He ran after him again when the last dwarf passed him. "Nooo! Thoriiin!"

Thorin did not turn around, instead just holding his hand out to his side, open and inviting. Bilbo hurried and caught up to him. Seeing as it was the best he would get for now, he grabbed the dwarf's large hand with his small one, wrapping his hand around three of Thorin's fingers. He waddled right there beside him, pouting a little but giving no more fuss.

 After a while of walking, Bilbo stopped and tugged on Thorin's sleeve with his free hand. "Thorin?" he asked in a small voice.

Thorin did not stop, forcing Bilbo to keep walking. "What is it, Bilbo?"

"It's getting a little cold... Balin has my clothes..."

The dwarf sighed softly and halted, holding up his hand to stop The Company. He turned to Balin, letting go of Bilbo's hand. "Balin, his clothes, please."

"Ah yes. Here you are, Bilbo." The old dwarf slipped Bilbo's clothes from his shoulder and handed them to the hobbit. Bilbo took them and looked up at Thorin.

"Are you gonna wit for me to change?" he asked.

Thorin nodded. "Of course we will. Go change, and we'll be right here when you get back." He turned Bilbo toward a wide tree by the path and patted the halfling's shoulder. Bilbo hesitated, unsure whether they would keep going or stay with him. "Bilbo, go on, go change."

Bilbo nodded and scurried over and behind the tree. He took Dwalin's shirt off and replaced it with his own, then pulled his trousers on over the nappy. Thankfully hobbit trousers were a bit loose so their feet would fit through, and he fastened the braces correctly as well, then slipped his coat on. When he came back, he found that Thorin had indeed kept his word. The dwarfs were all sitting at the bases of trees. Most of them. Thorin was pacing.

"Tho'in?" Bilbo said quietly. He blinked hearing what came from his mouth. That definitely didn't sound anything like an adult.

Thorin turned to Bilbo. "Ready to go on, Master Baggins?"

Bilbo nodded and wadled over to Thorin. You know, you would think by this time Bilbo would be used to the nappy making him waddle, but he still wasn't, and it made him slower than his normal pace.

Thorin smiled softly and held his hand out to the hobbit as The Company stood. Bilbo took Thorin's hand (three of his giant fingers) and they started walking again.

Hours later, when it seemed about midnight, they were still walking, much to Bilbo's dismay. Thorin and Gandalf were sure they had crossed about 24 miles, though Bilbo felt as though they had just traversed the entire length of Middle Earth.

"Thorin?" Bilbo tugged on the dwarf's sleeve and looked up at him with large eyes.

"Yes?" the king said without stopping.

"It's gettin' late... Could we stop, maybe?"

Thorin nodded and soon they stopped near a clearing off the path. Thorin turned to The Company. "get some rest here tonight. We're starting early again tomorrow morning."

There was a huge sigh of relief that echoed throughout the dwarfs. They all went to the clearing and plopped down at the bases of trees and on the soft and thick grass, which conveniently made an excellent bed if you had no bedroll with you. Thorin went over to the thickest patch of grass and laid there. Bilbo followed him and just awkwardly stood in front of the dwarf king. Thorin looked up at the hobbit.

"Are you planning on standing there all night?" he asked, slightly amused.

Bilbo shook his head and pointed timidly to the spot next to Thorin. "Could I sleep with you?" he asked shyly.

"I was expecting you'd want to." Thorin scooted over. Bilbo smiled brightly and laid next to the dwarf, snuggling close and curling up. Thorin smiled softly and pet Bilbo's soft honey curls. This wasn't too bad, the halfling thought. Nappy aside, not too terrible. In fact, he might have gone so far as to say this was very enjoyable. Thorin was fairly warm, and he seemed a lot nicer now. Was it because Bilbo was acting younger?

Thorin may like him better when he acted younger, but Bilbo wasn't going to bother himself with that right now. Right now, all he wanted was to fall asleep and stay warm with the king, so that was precisely what he did. He closed his eyes and cuddled closer to Thorin, and sleep came easily to him.

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed this, that is amazing! If you didn't, I hope you find a fan fic you do enjoy.


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